I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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