FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
