i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Barsexuality is the new black.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
