Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize