he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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