Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
