The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
