Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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