I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
