burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
