If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
please come you make the beer taste better
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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