We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
