I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
