Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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