i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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