so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
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then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
do nipples grow back?
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