Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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