Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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