I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
