what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
