Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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