I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
