I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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