It's like God shit irony all over that family
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she told me i tasted like america
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Terrible idea I love it
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
