we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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