I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
