he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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