the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
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