R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I think I just sharted jello shots
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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