the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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