Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
