i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
