Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
