so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
