I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
