I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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