Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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