do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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