He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
