Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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