I'm sorry my penis didn't work
so that wasnt chicken after all
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
