I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
smell my finger.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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