I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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