so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He felt like a one man threesome
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
