I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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