So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
