i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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