So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
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we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
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I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
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