Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
