am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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