he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
