Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
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shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
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I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
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