If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
