i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
The struggles of a small town man whore
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
