So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize