true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
this will be a night to untag.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
