Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
