No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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