A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
