i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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