She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
