We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
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side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
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Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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