all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
