Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
