The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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