So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
