glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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