Duck Duck Cougar?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Semen is not good for contacts.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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