If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
